Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
