can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
