i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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