Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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