id be glad to
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize