Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
