if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
