The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
