I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
