Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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