oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
