i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
