He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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