Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
