Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
the liver wants what the liver wants
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
