i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
