I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Just pee around me
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
