i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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