i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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