its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
