He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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