A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
