we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize