erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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