She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Sext me about skeletons
my liver is dry heaving
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
