Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
