i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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