How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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