grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
