whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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