I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
