Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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