Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
