I wanna passion pit in your ass
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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