just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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