I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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