Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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