so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Randomize
