just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
