my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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