I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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