Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize