you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
