yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
