Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
