Your mouth is God's brothel.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
