do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
