He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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