My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize