My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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