How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
