your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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