Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
