forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
