i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
