question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
