I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
