I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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