This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
