It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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