he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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