At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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