well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize