I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
