But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
