if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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