I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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