I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
where am i from again
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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