They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
