I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
