Need sex. Gaining weight.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
My vagina just recognized that song.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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