That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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