I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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