I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
