1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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