ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
