Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
